GOLDMAN SACHS PARTNERSHIP: What REALLY Happened

by Wasi of Cicero

After serving in the United States Armed Forces a working actor or even aspiring actor now is most interested in finding work in either film or television, so, obviously the Goldman Sachs representative immediately assessed the situation with his acting chops, discussed thoroughly what types of storylines were most intriguing to the Veteran, which directors produced work that seemed to best exemplify what values the veteran in question held dear, sipped her coffee or tea, then immediately jotted down his sincere responses to her thoughtful analysis. Her next brilliant move was to identify those veterans in the best position to produce the kinds of screenplays that might be considered suitable to her ‘client’ of the hour, because she was so astute. After all, this is someone who’d pledged his life to protecting our freedom throughout these United States! Wasting his time upon his return wouldn’t be very American at tall, and hardly a true reflection of what characteristics best represented Goldman Sachs at heart, you see! And they were talking with the veteran to provide genuine assistance to meet his goals, as they stated clearly.

“It’s all in how you write your proposal to these other vets- uh, I mean your . . . we have to call this proposal to these writers who are also veterans your ‘resume’, you understand,” she says lowly, then crosses her legs.

“Oh yes, of course, ma’am,” the vet replied. “Certainly.”

“Now upon receipt of these scripts which you’ll unfortunately have to read all by yourself in your free time, since you obviously have family to keep in touch with too . . .” she continued, “. . . but the audition proce- uh, application process, where you go in and try to nail the part before the casting agent, even though the part’s written for you, others will want to compete for what’s been written for you, you understand.”

“Naturally,” the vet replied, thinking back on his career already.

“Your level of job readiness is determined by how well you’re able to recite those lines in a variety of situations, you see. This way once you’ve arrived at the ‘audition’ or ‘interview’ or whatever they’re calling it today, you’ll have positioned yourself to your best advantage.”

The vet scratched his head, then sipped his coffee.

“You sure you only work for Goldman Sachs?”

“Oh, you flatter me now. I have a husband, you know.”

“Fine. Good day, ma’am.”

“Good luck!”